The Jump – Live Blog – Episode Five – Season One
Laura is the 6th Celebrity to be knocked out plus all the injured ones.
That is the end.
See you for the Final.
Estate agent jumps next.
She jumps 13m.
Which is not enough to stay in the predetermined competition that Sir Steve has already won.
What the hell have they made Donal wear. Imagine if this was the last thing you ever did and that was the last thing you ever wore.
He jumps 13.5m
Contestant update. Donal is that undercover detective guy.
Alex does some Schnapps and pulls a face. Clearly never had a Grappa, or a Genepi.
Laura the estate agent is up.
She gives it a bit of chat about how she is fast at running. That means she will fail.
And she does. Doesn’t run for long enough. Should have done her research, just like a typical estate agent.
Lots of nonexistent tension later and we find out that she is in the “jump off”.
So steve may be in the Hotel Lounge bar with his feet up, but that doesn’t mean they are going to waste the editing they put in for his clip.
If he is in the bottom will someone jump for him?
Phew, he goes to the top of the leader board.
What dead animal is Amy wearing tonight?
And we are back.
Anthea, you are a bullet. You can push a man down a run quicker than the rest of them.
Turns out Anthea is a not a bullet and more a slug.
looks like she could be, in the words of Woody the Cowboy “falling with style”.
Just watching the adverts and I have to say those Mcdonalds breakfast wraps look rank. Who eats them? Seriously who? Show Yourself!!
Next we have Marcus. A man that should be above this sort of show, but clearly his love of a free ski holiday is strong.
He competed with Joe from X-factor. Joe didn’t start the week, he was the last replacement.
It is nice the way they paired the two as they gave Marcus the X-factor sob story VT about his gammy leg.
Marcus is in the bottom two. Could be the end of his free ski holiday.
I will skip Alex Brooker section. I think he is doing a good job in a tough situation.
Now down the Bobsleigh run goes a man I don’t recognise. Oh hang-on, he doesn’t go. Still don’t know him. Some one say his name!
Phew the leader board, his name is Donald. Something to work with.
And he gets a DNQ. I expect his expression as he watches Bod leave without him is similar to mine when I miss the local bus. For the record I live in a rural community and there is only two busses a week.
Quick reflection – Davina called Graham, Ding Dong Bell and people laughed. New Low.
Kimberly from the Sugarcat Saints just went fastest. I missed her build up as I was busy wondering if now I would prefer to have watched Call the MIdwife on Sunday and have never got involved in this TV show.
Kimberly beats Richy, for times see Channel 4.
So if you are trying to follow this with out a TV, you will probably be imagining a rubbish show with snow.
But that aside, my duty is to the narrative. This means i Should point out that the “boys” and “girls” are competing each other. Which seems flawed, considering in the real Olympics this doesn’t happen, unless you are on a horse.
First up in this thinly veiled contest is my favourite, Richy. Honestly have no idea who he is.
But he makes a good start on the Bobsled. He claims he is confident. As normal this will only get him a short amount of screen time. Keep this positivity up and I will never get to know you.
So someone has been injured. The man mountain Steve Redgrave took a tumble and offered up a full yard sale.
Davina says that there are no more back up celebrities. But on the bright side they have closed the mini jump. So another injury is guaranteed.
Davina “how will they get the Cowbell Trophy home?”. My guess is that they will abandon it in a skip.
Could Eddie the Eagle be tonights highlight? Nope Amy Childs jumps better.
No preamble. I am running late. Fortunately the lengthy recap saves me.
The Question is who is injured and won’t be competing today? Would that allow Sinitta back in?