The Jump – Live Blog – Episode One – Season One
And that is it. That was Splash! with frozen water. That is if all the celebrities on Splash! were forced to compete in a 100m individual medley before finding out if they had to jump into a frozen swimming pool.
We may be here tomorrow, we may not, we probably will.
But whatever happens you can bet that it will involve Sinitta’s goggle steaming up as here tears evaporate.
Nicky Clark is next. And he slides down the slope looking like a plastic ski figurine that you see in the souvenir shops.
Nicky is out, only managing 9.5 meters.
9.5 Meters sounds a long way but look not very far at all.
Ricky is jumping. Or should I say skiing of a curb very slowly.
I am sure that it was much more terrifying than it looked.
Although Davina just contradicted me a said that it looked impressive. It didn’t.
Darren fell over, lets all laugh at his pain. Thats why we tuned in.
Ok so it has taken 56 minutes to get to the reason we are all watching this, The Injury. Sorry I mean The Jump.
I the quality of a show could be based on if my wife could stay awake during it then most TV shows would be deemed unwatchable and most of the schedules would be filled with property shows.
“Come back after the break when on of these minor celebrities will break a bone”
Nicky Clark – Part time This Morning presenter circa 1994.
One thing Nicky has going for him is that he looks like a sleazy ski instructor.
He skis almost without edges. A slider.
But he is slow and may be evicted from the house. He is the Jump off with that guy from 5ive.
Next we have Sir Steve Redgrave (SSR).
Graham says that he is looking forward to meeting Steve Redgrave probably because he has won an Olympic medal.
But it is actually a lie. They have met before and Graham has even taught him on an episode of Ski Sunday.
SSR’s non racing outfit is the best so far.
SSR skis very well, but like he said he has been skiing since a youngster. His style is elderly seasonnaire.
And SSR goes top.
That means Riki, or Ritchie will definitely fall. Sorry I meant jump.
What happened to “Get busy with the fizzy”?
Looks like twitter is not enjoying The Jump
Henry Conway – I have no Idea who you are, but thanks for letting us know what Graham would look like of he was doing a season in Meribel.
Henry heads down the course steering his way on his invisible steering wheel.
Is he actually Alex from the Courchevel Enquirer?
Do you think they would have held it in France if they had bells to ring during competitions?
Right we are back with Marcus – Snowboarder and Comedian.
I know he can ski, and he is actually better at skiing than he is at snowboarding.
My wife is doing her Goggle Box impression and has declared Marcu the shows saviour.
Looks like a good run. Marcus’ technique is Hunched Yetti. But clearly that is a quick style. He goes into the lead.
Turns out the Richie is even how he spells his name. Sorry.
On a separate note, this may not be the spectacle we had anticipated but at least we don’t have to suffer call the Midwife.
Is it me or does The Jump set look like a toothpaste advert?
Second “famous” person – I think it is Rick from 5ive.
Rick is a fast learner and has improved very quickly.
Turns out his name is Richie.
As he drags his poles down the course he looks petrified.
Less Dad than Darren and he throws in a Teenager Tuck at the end.
His time is 7 seconds slower.
First celeb introduction. Darren Gough. What I know is that he plays cricket.
What we learn, he cant use am automatic door and he has only skied four times. To be fair I did the same with that door when I went to Hemmel.
Graham Bell calls him a threat. If only I knew more about his cricket skills.
Darrens run. He starts his run wearing a a pink morphsuit. His technique is Dad ski.
47 second to beat.
This bit is basically, Graham Bell introduces clips of Ski Sunday.
Next up Graham Bell the UK’s only skier introduces them to the jump! They all look scared.
Right Competition starts.
The Jumps look big and I am glad I have no fame in me to be tempted into appearing.
Eddie the eagle now does as jump.
It is feeling very budget compared to the glossy adverts.
I feel nervous. I don’t know why.
Anyway Davina introduces the basic premise of the show. What I can gather is that if you are slow at skiing you have to go of the Jump.
Here we go… Live in Austria. It feels like a cold Big Brother.
I am pretty excited about this! I have looked at the line up and I can recognise quite a few celebs. I know that Steve Redgrave and Marcus Brigstocke have skiing history as they have both appeared on Ski Sunday, during it’s Top Gear year.
The closest I have been to a Ski jump is the one in Le Praz, or the the pub Le Jump in Courchevel. Just looking at the one in Le Praz is pretty daunting. So I do have some respect for the participants in the Jump.
The Jump, from what we can gather, is the first ever reality show that can almost guarantee to send a Celebrity to hospital, live on TV.
It is hosted by Davina, with help from the UK’s only skier, Graham Bell who I don’t think has ever entered the ski jumping and Amy Williams, who my wife claims a friend of a friend knows and as far as I know has never ski jumped before. Fortunately the show also features other disciplines such as skating, slalom and skeleton.
See you at 8pm here for our live blog of the launch show of The Jump.